Aisa Osayuki Estelle

... And Then There Were Three

Aisa Osayuki Estelle January 02, 2019 1

“There’s no perfect time.” I spent hours researching when to have a child in medical school and that phrase was used in almost every website and blog post I stumbled upon. I always knew that I wanted to have at least one child whole in med school (maybe even two!) but I couldn’t figure out when. And “there’s no perfect time” was no help. The best advice I received came from one of our deans. She said,

“The longer you wait, the more important you become.”

Taking time off as a medical student will not impact the hospital in any significant way. But when you become a doctor, and when you start climbing up the ladder of positions, the hospital may not be able to afford your absence. So even though the internet says there was no perfect time to have a child, the dean made me realize that there might be a best time to have a child.

We found the best time for us. The time between my second and third year of medical school, my MPH year. I expect that next year will be the hardest year of med school. I will have some intense shifts with crazy hours and no break longer than two weeks. It would be impossible to get pregnant that year without having to take time off (maybe even an entire year off) from med school. So once I found out I got accepted into the dual MD/MPH degree program, my husband and I found this elusive “perfect time” that I thought didn’t exist. We immediately began to look for houses, accepting the fact that though our tiny two-bedroom apartment was the best place for us at the time, it wasn’t where we wanted to raise a family. I removed my IUD and as we house shopped, we did the baby dance (hehe). In order to give birth and have some time off as a new mother before my hardest year of medical school, we had to get pregnant before September. My mind tends to imagine the worst whenever I truly long for something, so of course I was scared I was infertile when I didn’t get pregnant the first few weeks. My fears were quickly relieved though when I missed my next period. I got my first positive pregnancy test less than a month after moving into our new house. Mid-September, perfect timing (for us. Everyone’s “best time” will be different. My medical school journey will not be practical, ideal, or even desirable to everyone).

Yes, we’re scared. We don’t know where life will take us. I know that things don’t always work out as planned and you have to find a way to navigate the surprise speed bumps life lays on your path. Neither of us has experience with babies. My husband is the youngest and I was still a child when the youngest people in my family were born. I’ve never even seen a dirty diaper, much less changed one. We will be learning as we go, adapting to life’s twist and turns and hoping for the best. But we aren’t the first to embark on this journey. It’s been done before and it will be done again. Doctors have children. Female doctors have children. In every step of their medical career, regardless of their year in med school or in residency. So our excitement definitely outshines our fear! And I’m excited to keep you all updated about how I juggle my family and my medical career.