Showing posts with label featured. Show all posts
Showing posts with label featured. Show all posts

January 2, 2019

... And Then There Were Three

January 02, 2019 1
“There’s no perfect time.” I spent hours researching when to have a child in medical school and that phrase was used in almost every website and blog post I stumbled upon. I always knew that I wanted to have at least one child whole in med school (maybe even two!) but I couldn’t figure out when. And “there’s no perfect time” was no help. The best advice I received came from one of our deans. She said,

“The longer you wait, the more important you become.”


Taking time off as a medical student will not impact the hospital in any significant way. But when you become a doctor, and when you start climbing up the ladder of positions, the hospital may not be able to afford your absence. So even though the internet says there was no perfect time to have a child, the dean made me realize that there might be a best time to have a child.

We found the best time for us. The time between my second and third year of medical school, my MPH year. I expect that next year will be the hardest year of med school. I will have some intense shifts with crazy hours and no break longer than two weeks. It would be impossible to get pregnant that year without having to take time off (maybe even an entire year off) from med school. So once I found out I got accepted into the dual MD/MPH degree program, my husband and I found this elusive “perfect time” that I thought didn’t exist. We immediately began to look for houses, accepting the fact that though our tiny two-bedroom apartment was the best place for us at the time, it wasn’t where we wanted to raise a family. I removed my IUD and as we house shopped, we did the baby dance (hehe). In order to give birth and have some time off as a new mother before my hardest year of medical school, we had to get pregnant before September. My mind tends to imagine the worst whenever I truly long for something, so of course I was scared I was infertile when I didn’t get pregnant the first few weeks. My fears were quickly relieved though when I missed my next period. I got my first positive pregnancy test less than a month after moving into our new house. Mid-September, perfect timing (for us. Everyone’s “best time” will be different. My medical school journey will not be practical, ideal, or even desirable to everyone).

Yes, we’re scared. We don’t know where life will take us. I know that things don’t always work out as planned and you have to find a way to navigate the surprise speed bumps life lays on your path. Neither of us has experience with babies. My husband is the youngest and I was still a child when the youngest people in my family were born. I’ve never even seen a dirty diaper, much less changed one. We will be learning as we go, adapting to life’s twist and turns and hoping for the best. But we aren’t the first to embark on this journey. It’s been done before and it will be done again. Doctors have children. Female doctors have children. In every step of their medical career, regardless of their year in med school or in residency. So our excitement definitely outshines our fear! And I’m excited to keep you all updated about how I juggle my family and my medical career.


I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and a happy New Year!

P.S. We recently had a gender reveal party. Click here if you want to check it out!
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Posted by at January 02, 2019 1 comment: Edit
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August 23, 2018

One Degree Hotter

August 23, 2018 0

As a doctor, I will be saving lives. Individual lives. But what if I want to affect an entire population? What if saving a single life isn’t enough? I’ve taken a break from the hospital this year to pursue a Masters in Public Health. As a self-proclaimed social justice warrior (I know that label might have a negative connotation but I wear it proudly) and a lover of all things medicine, the decision to get a Masters in Public Health was a no-brainer. It’s frustrating how undervalued the field of Public Health is. Curative medicine is more attractive to the public than preventative medicine is. And in our individualistic (“it’s their problem, not mine”) society, people don’t realize (or choose to not realize) how much the health of their society affects them. But those in public health still find ways to change the world. It’s a thankless, but meaningful, field of medicine. I love everything I'm learning so far. My classes are addressing the problems I always talk about. But now I'm learning how to actually do something about them. So many things about our healthcare system need to be improved and I'm learning how to make a real impact. Even our first required project will transform a community (I'll write more about that later). I'm excited for what this year will bring.

After this year, I will return to the hospital with the rest of my med school classmates and graduate as a doctor with a Masters.

I have another reason for getting this second degree. All around me, I’ve seen classmates either burn out or get close to burning out. You know something they don’t tell you before you start med school? We have the highest number of suicides than any other grad school program. That includes law schools, pharmacy schools, nursing schools, and others. But it isn’t because of the coursework. We have an unspoken culture in medicine that makes us believe that asking for help is a weakness. We lose sleep, stop eating, and simply forget how to relax when we pour our hearts and souls into this field we love so much. And when we start to feel overwhelmed, instead of getting help, we look around and realize everyone else seems to have everything together.

If they can do it, I can do it.
I don't need a support team.
I don't want to be that one person who's struggling.

(Some people in my support team ^^ There's nothing wrong with asking for help)

So we, like the rest of our classmates, pretend we have it all together as well, unknowingly contributing to the problem. Instead of finding help, we continue to push ourselves even more. There is so much we have to do outside of school work. Honestly, almost every extracurricular thing is very fun and interesting to me and most other students. It's the balance we don't understand. Because everything is so interesting we give our all to every activity. Some of us forget to step back and breath. Not only is burn out a problem for students and doctors, it’s a problem for the patients. When doctors are out of it, people can die. It is dangerous to let doctors spiral into insanity. You don't want to put your life in the hands of an unstable physician. This is a culture my school, and many other schools, are trying to change.

I want to be an emergency room doctor

Did you know that emergency physicians have the highest rate of burnout than any other specialty? It doesn't have to be this way. I love the emergency department. I love the adrenaline, the blood and guts, the life or death situations. It excites me. I can't imagine doing anything else with my life. This means that I'll hold more lives in my hands than my peers in other specialties. So I need to make sure that I'm mentally fit to do that. This year I'll get to refresh my mind and learn how to impact the community. Through my MD program, I'll learn how to impact individuals. I'll be able to influence change through all layers of society. 


Thus begins my MPH year.


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Posted by at August 23, 2018 No comments: Edit
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August 16, 2018

Don't Kill The Patients

August 16, 2018 0

Some of you may already know this story, but I want to share it again. A few months ago, as I held a bloody heart in my hand, I lost my first patient. She was a Jane Doe, a jumper barely alive when she was brought in. She lost her pulse seconds after she was transferred to the hospital bed. I was surprised by how quick the whole team responded. As some doctors yelled for blood and another pushed epi, a couple of them immediately made a large cut to open almost the entire left side of her chest. They used a tool to push her flesh and ribs apart and took the heart right out of the cavity. One doctor handed me the woman's heart and told me to start pumping. I literally had her naked heart between my hands as I rhythmically squeezed. I blocked out the commotion and focused on my job. I only took my hands off when the doctors shocked her with something that looked like a salad tong, then I got right back to it. I could hear them in the background yelling for blood and working on keeping her alive. A few minutes later, as my hands still held her heart and pumped, they called her time of death. They were frustrated but used this experience to teach the residents. They asked, "What could we have done better?" At the very end, they showed me how to sew her up and I closed her. And naturally, I couldn't help but wonder if I killed her. "Do no harm." That's what we're taught. What if I had broken the fundamental rule doctors are supposed to follow? I had to convince myself that her death wasn't my fault. Unfortunately as a doctor, I'll have to experience these things. But the lives saved more than make up for it. Like the patient I had a while later, a man who came in with a head laceration that he got while trying to protect a stranger. Someone shaved and numbed his very bloody head and I helped staple his scalp back together. I got him warm blankets and stayed to talk to him. He told me I did a great job and right before I left that night, he prayed for me. I would have never guessed it, but he had a greater impact on my outlook of life than the first patient did.



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June 21, 2017

8 Things I Learned From Wedding Planning

Hello lovely readers! I'm back! And this time I don't plan on leaving.
If you read my last post you already know I'm soon to become a "Mrs." Yay!
Wedding Planning

 Takes you buy surprise! As exciting as the proposal is, planning such a large event can put a major damper on things. Be prepared to be slapped out of nowhere with a seemingly overwhelming list of opportunities. Ok, maybe it's not as scary as I'm making it seem, but it is pretty intimidating. So, without further adieu, I'll share with you 8 lessons I learned from wedding planning (so far)



Wedding dress shopping isn't as fun as they make it seem

If you're like me, you looooveee Say Yes To The Dress. Everyone cries when the bride-to-be finds her perfect dress and all the squabbling from earlier in the episode is squashed. But my experience wasn't exactly like that:
I went to David's Bridal (ugh yea, I know) and found three dresses I saved on Pinterest.




 Gorgeous right? I thought so too until I saw them in person. The material was cheap and the dresses were very "meh". But being the cheap frugal and spontaneous person I am, I bought one of them for only $400. It took only a day for me to realize my mistake and an exhausting amount of effort to undo it. After figuring out a way to return the dress, it hit me that this whole process might be harder than I thought. I'm very happy with the dress I have now though. Custom made, not a cookie-cutter factory dress. But that whole process definitely wasn't what I was expecting. But I have to say, finding the perfect dress brought tears to my eyes and my joy made the whole thing worth it.
Coming up with a hashtag is so hard!

 Ok this one isn't that serious but after so much time spent thinking of options, we couldn't come up with a cute wedding hashtag. Everyone suggested that we do our names and write like 2017 at the end but seriously how boring is that! When I finally asked my brother, the first thing he said was #WhereTheresAWillTheresIyawe and he laughed thinking it was the dumbest thing ever but it was actually genius. I don't know where he pulled that one from.
Prepare for the attacks on your wallet

 The amount of money it takes to pull this thing off made me seriously consider eloping. Just kidding. But our budget keeps growing and growing as time goes on. I can't overstate how expensive this has been for us.
Delegate

 As a medical student, I had no time at all to do anything. That's where my family came in. My mom and aunt are completely organizing my entire Nigerian wedding and I couldn't be more grateful. I'm a little more hands on with planning the American wedding but I'm still getting a lot of help with that too.
It's hard to stay in charge

 With all of that said, our family members tend to override our desires. We have been "compromising" (letting them have their way) with so many things. It can be extremely frustrating. This leads me to my next lesson


 It's not (just) about you

 Yea I said it. Congratulations on finding the one but keep in mind you're celebrating this moment with people who mean the world to you. Your guests matter and, regardless of how much you might want to use the phrase "it's MY day," you still have to keep them in mind. It can be tricky finding a balance between having your perfect day and making sure the people you love the most are happy. Also, don't forget about your other half! Will doesn't really care about most details of the wedding but when he does, it's important to listen to him. Some people may have fiancés who want to be more involved.


DIY is overrated

 We've all seen the beautiful pictures and videos of breathtaking DIY projects. And the most appealing part is not having to spend money on the real thing. But DIY projects have their dark secret and that is it's not always cheaper to do it yourself. Sometimes you'll spend more time (that you don't have) and money (oh, the irony). So don't jump into too many projects. Plan ahead and see what's worth investing your precious time and effort.
Don't lose sight of what's really important

 One thing I had to consistently remind myself was to enjoy the engagement. In the beginning, I was so wrapped up in wedding planning, I didn't stop and appreciate the wonderful thing that just happened. When you think of it like that, wedding planning loses its stress factor. I have found my soul mate. I get to marry my best friend. At the end of the day, for all I care, we can have a court wedding. Because the truth is, a wedding isn't nearly as important as a marriage.


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Posted by at June 21, 2017 No comments: Edit
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March 16, 2016

#goals

77 days into the new year and I just realized I never really made a New Year's Resolution. Last year, I had a long list but that might be because of how badly the year started off for me. There were so many things in my life I wanted to improve, include, or change altogether and I'm happy to say I successfully completed most of the things on my list (one of the hardest being getting into med school). My year ended a lot better than it started and for that, I am so grateful.

*****2016 New Year's Resolutions*****

  • Travel to Thailand - I recently bought my ticket and I can't wait!
  • Keep up with my YouTube channel
  • Draw, read, and write more
  • Keep up with my blog
  • Take better care of my body
  • Go on more adventures and stop taking this city for granted - when I studied abroad, I explored every country I visited. I made sure to make the most out of my time there.



When I came back to America, one of my new friends decided to visit Los Angeles. It wasn't until I tried to entertain him that I realized I knew nothing about this city. I've gotten better of course. I've gone on more adventures I tried to explore this place more. But it seems like there's always something I've never done. That's something I love about this place. I have all this time off now; I should take advantage of it.



LA can be pretty awesome too

  • Get an apartment with Will - I love where I live, but I am sooooooooo ready to move on! I want my own place. I feel like I'm still an undergrad in my current house, living with 20something other students. I want my own kitchen, hardwood floors, privacy, etc. We're currently looking :) We didn't renew our lease so this is happening for real!
I think that's it, at least for now. I'm so excited to make my goals a reality :)

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February 16, 2016

LOVE IS IN THE AIR

February 16, 2016 1

It's a wonderful feeling, knowing that you've met the person with whom you will spend the rest of your life. I realized this a while ago, but on Valentine's Day, I couldn't get it out of my head. The day began with breakfast at my favorite breakfast spot. Will kept bringing up little surprises throughout the day. Like the croissant he bought beforehand for me to eat with my omelette. It might seem small but it was so thoughtful of him to remember little details (like the fact that I love to sandwich omelettes in soft butter croissants). But it was when we went to view our first potential apartment that our future together began to become more and more real. The thought engraved itself in my mind for the day, making my Valentine's experience that much more amazing.
After viewing the apartment, Will took me to see the breathtaking Venice (California) Canals for the first time. 

 





 We found a Thai restaurant near the water and he gave me a beautiful rose after lunch.

He took me to the highest rated comic book store on Sunset because he knew I would love it. Afterwards, we headed off to Griffith park where we sat in the grass and talked about - get this - the Theory of Relativity and Gravitational waves (among other things). How romantic right? Of course, that's not all we talked about. It was a serene moment of deep talks and just appreciating each other's presence. We ended the night out with a candle-lit three course meal at a fancy French restaurant. It was a very intimate setting and the chef even came by to greet us before dessert.

For Valentine's Day, I made Will this 11x14 "Remember When" poster

Rather than pay to have it designed, I made it myself using Photoshop (and it was actually a lot of fun). It looked wonderful in its 16x20 matted frame. The hardest part was choosing what memories to include. I had what I thought was a short list of a few memories but I ended up having to delete a lot of what I wrote because they wouldn't fit on the poster.

We ended our perfect night with wine and a movie. I couldn't have asked for a better Valentine's Day. And I couldn't have asked for a better man to love me.

If you want to see a short video of our day, click here :)
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Posted by at February 16, 2016 1 comment: Edit
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January 4, 2016

Here's to the New Year

January 04, 2016 0
2015 might have been one of the most painful years of my life. Well, at least the first half. Early January last year, Will and I were lying on his bed and he asked me what I was thinking. My mind was racing with useless thoughts so I just said, "Nothing." He told me, “There’s something different about you.” When I asked him what he meant, he paused for a long time then said, “I don’t know… you seem lost.”

That's because I was.

Nothing in life seemed to be working out for me at that moment (in almost all aspects of my life, a list too long and too personal to include in a blog post). Many of these things made me question my future and put me through a lot of emotional turmoil. But then, around July, things began working themselves out. One at a time, a problem in my life was solved. I got a good job, a couple of med school acceptances, built a SIGNIFICANTLY better relationship with my boyfriend, got help with some other problems, and things started to take off from there. Looking back, it was kind of a sudden transition, taking only a couple of months to turn my circumstances around. But it felt so slow, so agonizingly slow.

To be completely honest, sometimes I try to forget the beginning of 2015. It would take several journal entries, several hours of talking to explain how difficult it was. But I know I should be glad I can't block out the year. The hardships I went through last year taught me so much about myself and about the world and I feel that I am a better person because of it. From narrowly escaping the possibility of losing my apartment to dealing with the death of a friend, and countless other things in between. Some lessons included: I learned to stop overthinking and stressing over little things. With so much going on, the insignificant things that once bothered me became irrelevant and remained irrelevant. I learned how to be a better girlfriend and a more understanding person in general. I grew up in the real world and took on more responsibility. No longer could I rely on financial aid or work-study jobs. And, I think most importantly, I learned the importance of expressing my love towards my friends, family, and boyfriend more than ever before; it should not take a funeral for me to tell someone how much they mean to me.


This picture was taken on my anniversary, December 15, 2015, when the year was ending peacefully and joyfully, very clearly distinct from its beginning.

2016 began with my first New Year's kiss and a wonderful Hollywood celebration. The mood was amazing and I was happy. But I couldn't help but remember Jan 1st of last year, also in Hollywood, but celebrated with a friend whose soul has now left the Earth, a reminder to myself to cherish these moments and appreciate the people in my life.
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Posted by at January 04, 2016 No comments: Edit
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