Aisa Osayuki Estelle: love

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June 21, 2017

8 Things I Learned From Wedding Planning

Aisa Osayuki Estelle June 21, 2017 0

Hello lovely readers! I'm back! And this time I don't plan on leaving.
If you read my last post you already know I'm soon to become a "Mrs." Yay!

Wedding Planning

Takes you buy surprise! As exciting as the proposal is, planning such a large event can put a major damper on things. Be prepared to be slapped out of nowhere with a seemingly overwhelming list of opportunities. Ok, maybe it's not as scary as I'm making it seem, but it is pretty intimidating. So, without further adieu, I'll share with you 8 lessons I learned from wedding planning (so far)

Wedding dress shopping isn't as fun as they make it seem

If you're like me, you looooveee Say Yes To The Dress. Everyone cries when the bride-to-be finds her perfect dress and all the squabbling from earlier in the episode is squashed. But my experience wasn't exactly like that:

I went to David's Bridal (ugh yea, I know) and found three dresses I saved on Pinterest.

Gorgeous right? I thought so too until I saw them in person. The material was cheap and the dresses were very "meh". But being the ~~cheap~~ frugal and spontaneous person I am, I bought one of them for only $400. It took only a day for me to realize my mistake and an exhausting amount of effort to undo it. After figuring out a way to return the dress, it hit me that this whole process might be harder than I thought. I'm very happy with the dress I have now though. Custom made, not a cookie-cutter factory dress. But that whole process definitely wasn't what I was expecting. But I have to say, finding the perfect dress brought tears to my eyes and my joy made the whole thing worth it.

Coming up with a hashtag is so hard!

Ok this one isn't that serious but after so much time spent thinking of options, we couldn't come up with a cute wedding hashtag. Everyone suggested that we do our names and write like 2017 at the end but seriously how boring is that! When I finally asked my brother, the first thing he said was #WhereTheresAWillTheresIyawe and he laughed thinking it was the dumbest thing ever but it was actually genius. I don't know where he pulled that one from.

Prepare for the attacks on your wallet

The amount of money it takes to pull this thing off made me seriously consider eloping. Just kidding. But our budget keeps growing and growing as time goes on. I can't overstate how expensive this has been for us.

Delegate

As a medical student, I had no time at all to do anything. That's where my family came in. My mom and aunt are completely organizing my entire Nigerian wedding and I couldn't be more grateful. I'm a little more hands on with planning the American wedding but I'm still getting a lot of help with that too.

It's hard to stay in charge

With all of that said, our family members tend to override our desires. We have been "compromising" (letting them have their way) with so many things. It can be extremely frustrating. This leads me to my next lesson

It's not (just) about you

Yea I said it. Congratulations on finding the one but keep in mind you're celebrating this moment with people who mean the world to you. Your guests matter and, regardless of how much you might want to use the phrase "it's MY day," you still have to keep them in mind. It can be tricky finding a balance between having your perfect day and making sure the people you love the most are happy. Also, don't forget about your other half! Will doesn't really care about most details of the wedding but when he does, it's important to listen to him. Some people may have fiancés who want to be more involved.

DIY is overrated

We've all seen the beautiful pictures and videos of breathtaking DIY projects. And the most appealing part is not having to spend money on the real thing. But DIY projects have their dark secret and that is it's not always cheaper to do it yourself. Sometimes you'll spend more time (that you don't have) and money (oh, the irony). So don't jump into too many projects. Plan ahead and see what's worth investing your precious time and effort.

Don't lose sight of what's really important

One thing I had to consistently remind myself was to enjoy the engagement. In the beginning, I was so wrapped up in wedding planning, I didn't stop and appreciate the wonderful thing that just happened. When you think of it like that, wedding planning loses its stress factor. I have found my soul mate. I get to marry my best friend. At the end of the day, for all I care, we can have a court wedding. Because the truth is, a wedding isn't nearly as important as a marriage.

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October 21, 2016

How He Asked

Aisa Osayuki Estelle October 21, 2016 1

Make sure to check out our proposal video at the bottom of this post :)

Will's birthday was on Monday and to celebrate, he told me he wanted to spend the day with me at the Getty Villa. I had never been there before so I was more than excited to go. We started our day off in Westwood, where we used to live. We had a delicious breakfast in a restaurant I'd never been to (even though I lived there for 6 years) then headed out to the Getty Villa.

The Getty was gorgeous and we had an amazing time walking around and enjoying each other's company. As we were walking, I saw this beautiful archway and asked Will to take a picture with me under it. We set up the tripod to take a picture under the arch but there was no way we'd be able to get a good picture that way. So we waited on the bench for someone we could ask to take a picture of us. So many people had been walking around that we thought we wouldn't really have to wait for long to ask someone to take the picture but for whatever reason, when we sat down, it seemed like no one wanted to walk our way anymore. Finally two people, N and C, walked near us and we asked them to take our picture.

After N took the picture he asked us if we wanted more pictures in other areas and offered to take more in a place with better lighting. I was so shocked. Usually I feel like I'm bothering someone when I ask for this favor but N seemed to enjoy this. He told us he was a photographer and he would be happy to take pictures of us wherever we wanted. Will told him we were going to the East Garden and asked him to come along.

Here's a little background story:

A while back, Will came here with his friends and my brother to scout out the perfect place to propose to me. They all agreed on the East Garden. Will intended to film the proposal with our camera on the tripod (making me believe that we were taking a self-timer picture).

This picture is from the day they visited the Getty Villa to check the place out.

Anyway, we started heading to the East Garden with our new friends N and C when a guard came to tell us that tripods weren't allowed there (Will's original plan was ruined). He said we'd have to check it in but it wasn't until he left that I realized he didn't really specify where to check it in, so I chased after him to ask where and how I could check in the tripod. While I was gone, Will told N and C his plan. He asked N if he could film the proposal while pretending to take pictures of us and N agreed. I met back up with them again and we all went to the East Garden together. N did a really good job pretending to take pictures. He kept moving from one angle to another "find good lighting". Right before the proposal, N moved to yet another angle and I turned to face him, not realizing that Will didn't turn with me. I got ready to pose for another picture when I felt a tap on my lower back. And then another tap. And then another. I'm super oblivious guys. When I finally turned around, Will was on one knee holding up the gorgeous ring. He nervously whispered, "Will you marry me?" and I immediately started crying. I nodded and took the ring and when we kissed for the first time as fiancé and fiancée, the crowd of people around us cheered and applauded. It was a magical moment, straight out of a fairy tale. I can't even begin to describe how happy I am that I get to live happily ever after with my Prince Charming. Here's to the beginning of the rest of our lives!

Our proposal video

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May 12, 2016

The Sun

Aisa Osayuki Estelle May 12, 2016 2

I read a Warsan Shire quote recently that said

“So here it is. I loved him, yes. But loving him made me kind of hate myself, and that wasn’t good.” and another quote that said "Loving you was the most exquisite form of self-destruction."

And I would love to say I can't relate but I’ve been destructively in love before. If love is what you call it.

The First

Was a sweet talker, like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, projected his faults into me. He made me feel like a goddess, but in a world where men were the gods, saying that society would never name me ugly, so that’s why he loved me. He was the accuser, making me hate myself because of him. As he broke our relationship by going from one girl to another, he made me feel like it was my fault. There was something wrong with me because I couldn’t give him what he wanted and he had to get it from someone else. By the time we broke up, he had turned me into a monster, waiting for the day I’d fall for another. I destroyed people like he destroyed me. I waited for the day he would be exhaled from my lungs and I could catch my breath and inhale someone else. I wanted to forget how my lips made their home in his. Forget the feeling of his breath caressing my neck. Because it was too easy to dream about him and clutch my pillow in the morning as he escaped farther and farther away with each screech of my alarm. I thought alcohol would erase my memory, pretending my life was complete with parties and Bacardi. I let the night consume me but even darkness couldn’t remove me from the grip of his memory. Because the day would come and bring the love songs that were painful reminders of his empty promises. Day would come and reveal the place where is name was engrained in me and make me relive dead memories. Even my tears reminded me of him when they caressed my cheek before abandoning me and I stuck my words to my throat because my heart tried to escape with each syllable. To others, I learned how to hide my unsteady breaths and uneven sighs. Back then, I thought love and hate were opposites but the truth is they fit together almost as well as my fingers did through his. I needed the true opposite of love, I needed indifference.

The Second

was more cunning. My destruction, like many things, happened gradually, then all at once. It was like clouds began to creep in on my sunshine so subtly I didn’t even notice. Then suddenly it was pouring and I was left wondering how I got there. Wasn’t it just sunny? He had already ripped me to shreds before I even realized he entered inside me. I tore myself apart to hold him together. I got burned just to keep him warm. And even after he left, I didn’t know I was in pieces until someone put me back together. The Second was the ~~man~~ boy who made me feel ugly so I could go to him to feel beautiful. He stripped me of my worth so I needed him to not feel worthless. He chose when we would have sex, even if I didn’t want it. He made me hate myself so I would rely on him to love me. He was a demon, pretending to be an angel, that needed to be exorcised from my life. When I hit my lowest low, I tried, again, to drink away my misery and wrote a poem called Drunk:

I feel every step the spirit takes

It starts at my lips, waltzes across my tongue, makes its way down my throat,

Like liquid fire, it burns everything in its path.

It spreads through my body, to my fingertips, to my toes.

Now it's overtaking my being, taking over my balance.

I fly like a spirit

For I am possessed.

I see it when my eyes are open.

I feel it when my eyes are closed.

My tongue has lost its function,

My words are chained as they escape my lips

And most of them fall to the ground before reaching ears.

Spirit almost terrifying

Yet still more welcomed

Than the horrible reality from which it takes me

But eventually I set myself free from him. The light started to come back and I didn’t truly know how low I was until I started climbing up. And I started to see the sun. His rays were blond and he made me shine. But I was broken and scared. I warned him that the fire flowing through my chest could melt his heart and I couldn’t love him the way I should, the way he loved me. Those emotions were trapped by my fear of reopening scars. I told him I was broken but he said good, light comes in through the cracks. So I guess that’s how he got in and started pulling my pieces back together from the inside. For years, he helped me put myself together. And through his love, he taught me how to love him, the right way, the real way. So I wrote this poem:

My heart was heavy but in your arms it takes refuge

Eradicating my presumptions from the day that I met you

But sometimes I slip, you allow me to clutch you

I am the moon

You are my sun

Darkness can’t touch you

With time, the pain from the First and Second slowly faded until it disappeared. Now I can bask in the sun :)

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February 16, 2016

LOVE IS IN THE AIR

Aisa Osayuki Estelle February 16, 2016 1

It's a wonderful feeling, knowing that you've met the person with whom you will spend the rest of your life. I realized this a while ago, but on Valentine's Day, I couldn't get it out of my head. The day began with breakfast at my favorite breakfast spot. Will kept bringing up little surprises throughout the day. Like the croissant he bought beforehand for me to eat with my omelette. It might seem small but it was so thoughtful of him to remember little details (like the fact that I love to sandwich omelettes in soft butter croissants). But it was when we went to view our first potential apartment that our future together began to become more and more real. The thought engraved itself in my mind for the day, making my Valentine's experience that much more amazing.

After viewing the apartment, Will took me to see the breathtaking Venice (California) Canals for the first time.

We found a Thai restaurant near the water and he gave me a beautiful rose after lunch.

He took me to the highest rated comic book store on Sunset because he knew I would love it. Afterwards, we headed off to Griffith park where we sat in the grass and talked about - get this - the Theory of Relativity and Gravitational waves (among other things). How romantic right? Of course, that's not all we talked about. It was a serene moment of deep talks and just appreciating each other's presence. We ended the night out with a candle-lit three course meal at a fancy French restaurant. It was a very intimate setting and the chef even came by to greet us before dessert.

For Valentine's Day, I made Will this 11x14 "Remember When" poster

Rather than pay to have it designed, I made it myself using Photoshop (and it was actually a lot of fun). It looked wonderful in its 16x20 matted frame. The hardest part was choosing what memories to include. I had what I thought was a short list of a few memories but I ended up having to delete a lot of what I wrote because they wouldn't fit on the poster.

We ended our perfect night with wine and a movie. I couldn't have asked for a better Valentine's Day. And I couldn't have asked for a better man to love me.

If you want to see a short video of our day, click here :)

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October 20, 2015

Will’s 23rd Birthday

Aisa Osayuki Estelle October 20, 2015 0

Last week was a great one. Aside from my TWO medical school acceptances (more on that later), William turned 23 on Saturday. We left for San Diego on Saturday afternoon because his older brother Mark got us our own hotel room four rooms down from his and his girlfriend’s room. On our way to San Diego, Will told me to call Mark to update him on our ETA. He said, “Get used to talking to him. He’s your future brother-in-law.” Now Will and I have talked about marriage a lot but for some reason, this took my by surprise and I was so happy he said that. It seemed to solidify our plans to spend the rest of our lives together. Anyway when we got to the hotel, I was in awe. It was so fancy! It was decorated French Victorian style and there was gold and red everywhere. It was gorgeous. After getting settled in, we got dressed and went out to dinner. The city was beautiful. Will and I agreed that San Diego would be an ideal place to live and raise our family (unless of course we find a better location).

Saturday was great but Sunday was the day of the real event. Will and I met Mark downstairs and Mark pulled out an engagement ring! Turns out the entire weekend was planned only to propose to his girlfriend Barbara (sorry Will, this weekend wasn’t about you). We had a buffet brunch and I got to meet more members of Will’s family, the most important being his grandpa. He was an amazing man and Will’s idol. I was so honored to finally meet him. Their uncle Peter was also nice to talk to. He asked so many questions and actually really wanted to get to know me. I got to meet young Oliver, Barbara’s grandson and one of the cutest little boys I’ve ever met.

When brunch ended, Mark gathered everyone to take a picture and on cue, Will called Barbara’s name so she turned to face him. When she turned back around, Mark was on his knees with the beautiful ring. He asked her to be his wife and she said yes :) It was an amazing moment and I’m so happy I got to be there for the proposal.

The weekend was filled with so much more, too much for a single blog post. I’m just so blessed to have been a part of it all.

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