The Beginning

I feel like I've been thrown into a tornado. But I like it. My life was so calm before June but it was starting to get boring. A lot has happened and is currently happening and I feel like I'm reaching all over the place trying to find a way to stabilize myself. Side note: if you're one of my YouTube subscribers, now you know why we've been MIA haha. Anyway, right after Thailand, as if to mark the next chapter in our lives, Will cut his long golden locks in favor of a more professional short haircut. Then we moved into our current apartment. I hadn't thought of this before but I when I stepped into our new place, I realized that this was a big step in my relationship. Yes, I lived with Will for years before this but it was in a co-op, in an old frat house, with like 20 other college students/recent graduates. No we have a two bedroom, two bath, two walk-in closet to ourselves.

But even though this is a huge change for me, the biggest change came when class started. Someone told me that medical school is like trying to drink water from a fire hydrant. They couldn't be more correct. It's not like the information is incredibly difficult. It's just the amount that's thrown at us. We're expected to learn so much in a very small amount of time. On top of that, since school is just starting, there are a lot of random things I have to keep track of that sometimes take me by surprise. Buying scrubs, getting a stethoscope, livescan, mask fitting, white coat, frenzied schedule, hospital ID, gloves for anatomy, downloading the software we use to take tests, etc. And I have to admit, sometimes I longingly looked back to the boring life I had just a few months ago, but then I experience things that remind me of how much I want to be here. I dissected my "first patient" and for the first time, saw the inside of a human body. I watched an open-heart surgery on a 6 month old baby as surgeons showed me the little holes in his heart that they had to cover up. I watched them wire his tiny ribs back together and I never thought I would think a baby could be so durable. It was awe-inspiring. I saw another patient today who had a huge gash in her arm from wrist to elbow but I ended up learning more about her hectic home life and saw how resilient she was to confidently navigate through situations that many would consider traumatic. Coming home to study has more meaning to me than it ever did as an undergrad. For the first time, I can really see what I'm working towards and learning, to me, has become a blessing rather than a burden. This tornado of a life is tossing me around right now but I'm starting to go with the flow and watch the pieces fall into place. Soon it'll calm down. And I'll be flying.