Aisa Osayuki Estelle

I feel like I've been thrown into a tornado. But I like it. My life was so calm before June but it was starting to get boring. A lot has happened and is currently happening and I feel like I'm reaching all over the place trying to find a way to stabilize myself. Side note: if you're one of my YouTube subscribers, now you know why we've been MIA haha. Anyway, right after Thailand, as if to mark the next chapter in our lives, Will cut his long golden locks in favor of a more professional short haircut. Then we moved into our current apartment. I hadn't thought of this before but I when I stepped into our new place, I realized that this was a big step in my relationship. Yes, I lived with Will for years before this but it was in a co-op, in an old frat house, with like 20 other college students/recent graduates. No we have a two bedroom, two bath, two walk-in closet to ourselves.


But even though this is a huge change for me, the biggest change came when class started. Someone told me that medical school is like trying to drink water from a fire hydrant. They couldn't be more correct. It's not like the information is incredibly difficult. It's just the amount that's thrown at us. We're expected to learn so much in a very small amount of time. On top of that, since school is just starting, there are a lot of random things I have to keep track of that sometimes take me by surprise. Buying scrubs, getting a stethoscope, livescan, mask fitting, white coat, frenzied schedule, hospital ID, gloves for anatomy, downloading the software we use to take tests, etc. And I have to admit, sometimes I longingly looked back to the boring life I had just a few months ago, but then I experience things that remind me of how much I want to be here. I dissected my "first patient" and for the first time, saw the inside of a human body. I watched an open-heart surgery on a 6 month old baby as surgeons showed me the little holes in his heart that they had to cover up. I watched them wire his tiny ribs back together and I never thought I would think a baby could be so durable. It was awe-inspiring. I saw another patient today who had a huge gash in her arm from wrist to elbow but I ended up learning more about her hectic home life and saw how resilient she was to confidently navigate through situations that many would consider traumatic. Coming home to study has more meaning to me than it ever did as an undergrad. For the first time, I can really see what I'm working towards and learning, to me, has become a blessing rather than a burden. This tornado of a life is tossing me around right now but I'm starting to go with the flow and watch the pieces fall into place. Soon it'll calm down. And I'll be flying.

77 days into the new year and I just realized I never really made a New Year's Resolution. Last year, I had a long list but that might be because of how badly the year started off for me. There were so many things in my life I wanted to improve, include, or change altogether and I'm happy to say I successfully completed most of the things on my list (one of the hardest being getting into med school). My year ended a lot better than it started and for that, I am so grateful.

• Travel to Thailand - I recently bought my ticket and I can't wait!
• Keep up with my YouTube channel
• Draw, read, and write more
• Keep up with my blog
• Take better care of my body
• Go on more adventures and stop taking this city for granted - when I studied abroad, I explored every country I visited. I made sure to make the most out of my time there.

When I came back to America, one of my new friends decided to visit Los Angeles. It wasn't until I tried to entertain him that I realized I knew nothing about this city. I've gotten better of course. I've gone on more adventures I tried to explore this place more. But it seems like there's always something I've never done. That's something I love about this place. I have all this time off now; I should take advantage of it.

• Get an apartment with Will - I love where I live, but I am sooooooooo ready to move on! I want my own place. I feel like I'm still an undergrad in my current house, living with 20something other students. I want my own kitchen, hardwood floors, privacy, etc. We're currently looking :) We didn't renew our lease so this is happening for real!

He took me to the highest rated comic book store on Sunset because he knew I would love it. Afterwards, we headed off to Griffith park where we sat in the grass and talked about - get this - the Theory of Relativity and Gravitational waves (among other things). How romantic right? Of course, that's not all we talked about. It was a serene moment of deep talks and just appreciating each other's presence. We ended the night out with a candle-lit three course meal at a fancy French restaurant. It was a very intimate setting and the chef even came by to greet us before dessert.

• I think one of the most important things to do when requesting letters of recommendation is to ask your writers early!
• Most schools require a letter from two science professors and one non-science professor. Of course sending in other letters is recommended (especially if the writer played a big role in one of the most meaningful activities you wrote about). But make sure you get the required professors to write letters.
• I would suggest going to office hours and getting to know the professor so that they can write a good and personal letter on your behalf. Getting an A in the class is not enough because a short/bad letter is much worse than not having a letter at all. Some students go to their TA's office hours if their classes have like 200+ students. The TA can write a big part of the letter on your behalf and give it to the professor to finish and submit.
• I also suggest talking to your writer in person and then emailing them after they agree to write the letter. They will most likely ask for a CV and and a statement of purpose (or a rough draft of your personal statement). In the email, you can give them all the details about how to submit or mail the letter to AMCAS. Make sure your email is polite and professional and send it as soon as possible.

• Attire: professional, no exceptions. A suit with a shirt and tie for men and a suit with pants or a skirt (with pantyhose) for women. Make sure the skirt isn't too short or too tight. When buying suits, I'd stick to black, grey, or navy blue. Shirts should always be tucked in. A lot of websites say that women should wear heels. I disagree. You'll take a tour of the school before or after every interview so make sure you wear comfortable close toe shoes. If you're comfortable in short heels, feel free to wear them. To my first interview, I wore short heels and brought flats in my bag. After that, I just wore flats to interviews. Many other girls did too. Your jewelry should be limited to small stud earrings (and maybe a necklace if it's understated).
• Your hair should be neat and out of your face. I wore my hair in a top bun to every interview. Don't overdo your makeup. You can wear mascara/eyeliner and a little foundation if you want. But don't wear falsies or bright lipstick or anything distracting. If you absolutely have to wear makeup, go for a neutral look. Also, your nails should be clean and trimmed. I suggest not wearing any colored nail polish but if you do, make sure it isn't chipped and the color isn't too "loud".
• Bringing a bag is optional but I recommend it. I brought a dark maroon bag that was professional looking. They will give you folders and papers so you'll need a place to put them. I also suggest bringing a portfolio folder to take notes. I saw that some websites recommended bringing a copy of your application and CV. You can if you want, but I see no point in doing so. They have all your information already.
• Look up the school and its values before the interview. They will want to know why you applied to that specific program.
• Some schools ask about current events in medicine so read up on that.
• If you're flying to an interview, book your flights early and if possible, fly in two days before the interview. Especially if you're interviewing in the winter (because flights often get delayed/changed/canceled because of snow or other weather problems).
• Be on time!!
• Have a general idea of what you want to say but don't rehearse it. The one question you have to, HAVE TO know the answer to is, "Why do you want to be a doctor?" To help people is not a good answer. Briefly talk them through your journey to realizing medicine was for you. Know the answers to questions about your 15 activities, personal statement, and grades (some might ask why you got a low grade in a certain class).
• Have good questions to ask at the end of the interview. Sometimes they ask if you have any questions for them. Make sure you look up the school. You can ask about specific programs or their experiences, etc. I was genuinely curious about the answers to all the questions I asked and I think they could tell. I didn't just look up what to say. And not every question was medicine-related.
• MMIs:
• Not every school has them but most of the interviews I had were MMI style
• This website explains what they are is perfectly. To sum it all up, there will be different rooms ("stations") and you and your fellow interviewees will rotate through the stations. You'll have 8-10 minutes in each station and each will be very different. You might meet an actor and have to play a role (so they can see how you'd react in a certain situation), you might just be interviewed regularly, you might be given a scenario, you might have to write an essay, you might be in there with another interviewee, etc.
• This YouTube page helped me prepare for the scenarios I faced. I really suggest watching the MMI videos. They were sooooooo helpful!
• Get a good night's sleep the night before. Try to relax (I know it's sometimes easier said than done). Be friendly and fun to talk to.
• My experiences:
• I was fortunate to have an extremely relaxed first interview. It was not at all stressful. I was nervous when I arrived (the school is in LA and it rained! I thought that was a bad sign since it never rains over here). But the dean of the school was so nice and welcoming! She told us to relax and she sat down to informally chat with us. I could almost physically feel the tension leave the room after just ten minutes of talking to her. By the time she left the room, we were all joking and laughing and having a good time. My interviewer, unlike the rest, was dressed pretty casually. We went into a room with couches and a coffee table. The first question she asked was, "Tell me about yourself." And from there, our "interview" just turned into a fun conversation. Seriously, it was like we were old friends catching up. We were laughing and talking and I was getting to know her just as much as she was getting to know me. I don't think it was supposed to be like that but the way I answered the first question led our conversation away from the formal interview and towards the casual conversation. Then we were given a tour and I sat in on a class. After that, I had a student interview. The student had a list of questions to ask so our interview still felt a bit like an interview (but only a bit). She was about my age, went to my undergraduate college, and had the same major I did. We couldn't finish all the questions because of our conversations. Our interview actually ended a little late because we were still talking and we continued our conversation even as we exited the room and went back upstairs to meet the others. I genuinely enjoyed my time there. If it had been under different circumstances, I think we could have even become friends. The dean actually told us the date she would send out the acceptance/rejection emails so on that day, I was had my gmail app open on my phone basically refreshed it every 5 minutes until I got my acceptance email (I felt like crying and had to show my boyfriend to make sure I wasn't making it up in my mind). This is my #1 school (tied with another school).
• The rest of my interviews were MMI style. Honestly, I'm not a huge fan but I think that's just because my first interview was so well. MMIs weren't that bad and those interviews seemed to go by very quickly because of the way they were broken down. I was surprised I never got the same question twice with how many schools I went to with this kind of interview style. So be prepared for anything because they have a wide variety of station questions/tasks. I got accepted into one of them (my backup school) and waitlisted at another (my #4 choice). I'm waiting to hear back from the rest.
• Afterwards I got denied from two schools (I wasn't even invited for an interview), withdrew my application from other schools, and canceled the rest of the interviews I had scheduled.

• Honestly I think this is the hardest part :(
• After the interview, send thank you notes or emails to your interviewers.
• If the school allows it, send updates if you've accomplished more after you were interviews (new publications, new volunteer experiences, etc.)

2015 might have been one of the most painful years of my life. Well, at least the first half. Early January last year, Will and I were lying on his bed and he asked me what I was thinking. My mind was racing with useless thoughts so I just said, "Nothing." He told me, “There’s something different about you.” When I asked him what he meant, he paused for a long time then said, “I don’t know… you seem lost.”

That's because I was.

Nothing in life seemed to be working out for me at that moment (in almost all aspects of my life, a list too long and too personal to include in a blog post). Many of these things made me question my future and put me through a lot of emotional turmoil. But then, around July, things began working themselves out. One at a time, a problem in my life was solved. I got a good job, a couple of med school acceptances, built a SIGNIFICANTLY better relationship with my boyfriend, got help with some other problems, and things started to take off from there. Looking back, it was kind of a sudden transition, taking only a couple of months to turn my circumstances around. But it felt so slow, so agonizingly slow.

To be completely honest, sometimes I try to forget the beginning of 2015. It would take several journal entries, several hours of talking to explain how difficult it was. But I know I should be glad I can't block out the year. The hardships I went through last year taught me so much about myself and about the world and I feel that I am a better person because of it. From narrowly escaping the possibility of losing my apartment to dealing with the death of a friend, and countless other things in between. Some lessons included: I learned to stop overthinking and stressing over little things. With so much going on, the insignificant things that once bothered me became irrelevant and remained irrelevant. I learned how to be a better girlfriend and a more understanding person in general. I grew up in the real world and took on more responsibility. No longer could I rely on financial aid or work-study jobs. And, I think most importantly, I learned the importance of expressing my love towards my friends, family, and boyfriend more than ever before; it should not take a funeral for me to tell someone how much they mean to me.

The personal statement is arguably the most important part of your med school application (depending on who you ask). You have 5300 characters max to explain why you want to go to med school (this is usually about a page and a half long). There are so many paths to take when writing your personal statement so how you write is completely up to you. This website has a few examples of the directions people go with their personal statement. I highly suggest you check it out if you're not sure how to start. I'm going to give some general tips about what to incorporate in your personal statement and then I'll tell you how I wrote mine.

Personal Statement Tips

• PROOFREAD! You should type your personal statement into Word or something with spell check before submitting it to AMCAS. But mistakes include more the misspelled words. For example, if you write about a patient you met and you used a fake name (to maintain their privacy), make sure you use that same name throughout the entire essay. Also check for grammatical errors.
• Have as many people possible look over your statement. They're probably going to catch things that you didn't.
• The essay can't be changed after you submit it so make sure it's perfect.
• Make sure it's not just a narrative form of your resume ("I want to be a doctor because I shadowed... then I volunteered... In 1995, I worked...").
• Keep it relevant. If you want to mention how Dr. So-and-so had a great impact on your decision to become a doctor, that's fine. But don't spend two or three paragraphs talking about his achievements. Keep the essay about you.
• Be unique. It's likely that you and many other applicants will have similar experiences. Think hard and ask other people. What can you say about yourself that no one else can? Yes, you'll have some things in common with other applicants, but you're still different and there are things about you that make you special.
• Don't get fancy with your writing. No writing in all CAPS or only lower-case letters. Don't write a poem either.
• Don't lie about (or exaggerate) your life and do not plagiarize someone else's work.
• Avoid controversial topics. You could risk alienating someone who does not agree with you.
• Think ahead. You might be asked to explain details during an interview so make sure you feel strongly about what you wrote.
• Include specific experiences and how they impacted you
• Things to consider including
• Significant hardships or obstacles that might have affected your education
• Explain bad grades if they aren't explained elsewhere in your application - don't apologize or give excuses though. Talk about what you learned from it and how you improved.
• Note: when it comes to bad grades, it's important to have an upward trend. It looks really bad to explain what you learned from your bad grade but show no improvement in your transcript. That tells the committee that you didn't actually learn anything.
• Questions to consider
• Who are you?
• Why do you want to be a doctor? TO HELP PEOPLE IS NOT A GOOD ANSWER. Not by itself anyway. Most professions allow you to help people in one way or another so that doesn't explain why you want to be a doctor. Be specific. What happened in your life that made you realize medicine is your passion? What helped develop your interest afterwards? 
• What do you want medical schools to know about you that hasn't been disclosed in another part of the application?
• How do your experiences prove that you have the characteristics you say you have?
• Keep in mind that the readers are not medical specialists.

My Personal Statement